As my EE/Orange Wednesday buddy wanted to see The Croods, but I had already seen it, I allowed her to pick our next movie. She is a big fan of Channing Tatum and so her choice was G.I. Joe: Retaliation. Although oddly, neither of us had seen the first G.I. Joe movie. I therefore proposed a reverse movie experience, we could go to see G.I. Joe: Retaliation but we would have to watch G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra on DVD at some point afterwards.
The film is set directly after the events of the first movie and follows Duke (Channing Tatum) and his crew as they embark on another mission, unaware that the President (Jonathan Pryce) has been captured and that the man in the white house is actually Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), one of the bad guys from the first movie. The nanomite technology from the first film comes in handy to reconfigure Zartan's features, allowing him to impersonate the President. Zartan uses his influences as the President to frame the Joe's for stealing nuclear warheads and moves to disband them, ordering a military strike which kills most of the team. The remaining Joe's join forces with the first Joe (Bruce Willis) and their former enemy Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) to bring an end to Zartan's reign.
Despite not having seen the first G.I. Joe movie I found it relatively easy to follow the sequel. However, *Spoiler Alert* for fans of Channing Tatum or Bruce Willis I will say now that you'll probably be disappointed. Tatum is only in the movie for the first 20 minutes and then his character is one of the casualties of the military strike. *End Spoiler Alert* From here, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson takes centre stage, with Brucie coming in about half way through the movie and appearing sporadically with the sole aim of delivering some cheesy one liners. Although the best one liner has to be "So why don't you take Miley Cyrus and Ryan Seacrest and head that way" when referring to Flint (D.J. Cotrona) and Jaye (Adrianne Palicki) pictured below:
You see it's funny coz they do kinda look like Miley Cyrus and Ryan Seacrest...
Anyway, if you're not a fan of those involved then you'd better be a fan of action as it barely lets up in this movie, with lots of fast paced set pieces, one on wires over a snowy mountain makes particular use of the 3D. Other than that the film doesn't really have a lot going for it. The end sequence involving nukes from all countries is quite clever but it's not enough to save the film from falling into mediocrity. I'd only recommend this if you're a fan of the original/franchise or if you follow any of the actors involved. 4 out of 10.
Viewing Date - 3rd April 2013
UK Release Date - 27th March 2013
Cast Overview:
Dwayne Johnson ~ Roadblock
Jonathan Pryce ~ President
Byung-hun Lee ~ Storm Shadow
Elodie Yung ~ Jinx
Ray Stevenson ~ Firefly
D.J. Cotrona ~ Flint
Adrianne Palicki ~ Jaye
Channing Tatum ~ Duke
Ray Park ~ Snake Eyes
Arnold Vosloo ~ Zartan
Bruce Willis ~ General Joe Colton
Director ~ Jon M. Chu
Writer(s) ~ Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick
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