Dark Shadows

Mini Blog

http://darkshadowsmovie.warnerbros.com/

Dark Shadows is the first review I have done of a Johnny Depp/Tim Burton collaboration. As such, it's the first opportunity I have had to talk about my appreciation of both actor and director and the movies they have made together which I have grown up with.

Anyone who has read my randomness blog <http://ladyk23.tumblr.com/post/3815735765/im-new-here-be-kind> will know that Edward Scissorhands is a film which had a MASSIVE impact on me, both as a cinemagoer and as a person. I have no doubt that the gothic nature of that film made me a much darker person. I saw Edward Scissorhands on my 10th birthday (thanks for taking me Bro!) and soon after developed my love of all things black, cobweb-y and skulls. Lots of skulls. This is something that still forms part of who I am today. Sure I never turned into a full fledged goth (something I'm sure my mother and father are most grateful for) but I'm sitting here wearing black nail varnish and a scarf with skulls and crossbones all over it. And no-one who knows me would find this out of character. Because it's been part of who I am for so long.

From Edward onto Ed Wood, The Nightmare Before Christmas and Corpse Bride, Johnny and Tim could do no wrong in my eyes. Then came Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. Despite my hatred of Musicals, Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory is one of my favourite childhood films. Gene Wilder is perfect as the wild eyed Willy Wonka, the scenes of chocolate rivers and edible everything stayed with me long into adulthood and I would now probably consider it a bit of a guilty pleasure. The re-make however, does not conjure up the same fond memories. It was all wrong. Johnny was wrong. The umpa-lumpa's were wrong. It just should never have been made. And especially not by Johnny and Tim.

They redeemed themselves somewhat with Sweeny Todd but again as I loathe musicals this was not their best effort. Then came Alice in Wonderland. Again just all wrong. Johnny was wrong. Helena was wrong. Just no no no no no!!!!!

So I'd all but given up on the dream team when Dark Shadows was announced. It could work. Johnny and Tim again exploring the dark, gothic side of film and Johnny playing a vampire. Certainly fulfilling a long time fantasy of mine. But it didn't work. Here's why:

1) Johnny is too old to play a vampire. He's not sexy (I'm not saying in general - just not in this role) and his age makes his relationship with the young girl seem creepy.

2) The film is not funny. It tries to be but the jokes are painfully unfunny and were met by a wall of silence in the viewing I saw.

3) It's too long. The last act of the film goes on for half the length of the movie. And just when you think it's finally over, some other lame plot twist is thrown into the mix.

I really thought that this film would put Johnny and Tim firmly back to their collaborative best but it just re-affirmed something I've been suspecting for a while. That they should stop working together and instead work with new people who may liven both of them up and help them create a fresh approach. This undead tale should be burried. 4 out of 10.

Viewing Date: 13th May 2012

UK Release Date: 11th May 2012

Cast Overview:

Johnny Depp ~ Barnabas Collins

Michelle Pfeiffer ~ Elizabeth Collins Stoddard

Helena Bonham Carter ~ Dr Julia Hoffman

Eva Green ~ Angelique Bouchard

Jackie Earle Haley ~ Willie Loomis

Johnny Lee Miller ~ Roger Collins

Bella Heathcote ~ Victoria Winters/Josette DuPres

Chloe Grace Moretz ~ Carolyn Stoddard

Gulliver McGrath ~ David Collins

Director ~ Tim Burton

Writer(s) ~ Seth Grahame-Smith (Screenplay and Story), John August (Story) and Dan Curtis (Television Series)

The Rum Diary

http://www.rumdiarythemovie.com/

Despite Johnny Depp's recent film choices being less than reliable, I still wanted to see The Rum Diary, mostly because the trailer did actually make me laugh out loud. Something I rarely do at most comedies, let alone the trailers for those comedies.

What I wasn't aware of when I made the decision to go and see The Rum Diary was that this was the prequel to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. One of the few Johnny Depp films I haven't seen and don't own.

The Rum Diary tells the story of American writer Paul Kemp (Johnny Depp), who is hired by a newspaper in Puerto Rico to help it's failing readership. Whilst out in a country where he doesn't speak the language (even though his CV says he does), Paul becomes embroiled in a dodgy deal involving building hotels on a private island, dabbles in drink and drugs and steals the wrong guy's girl. 

But that's about all he does. And while that might sound like a lot, The Rum Diary suffers a similar fate to In Time in that it feels like a very directionless film which has only been given the greenlight because Johnny Depp was involved. It is a slightly more interesting film than In Time however, and with infinitely better performances. Notably from Depp but no surprises there. He isn't the only good performer with fine support from Aaron Eckhart, Michael Rispoli, Amber Heard, Richard Jenkins and Giovani Ribisi.

But fine performances from a solid cast do not a good film make, as Yoda might say. As I mentioned above the film seems to lack direction other than to say that the story continues with Fear and Loathing, and I personally have no greater interest to watch that movie now than I did before I saw The Rum Diary.

There are funny moments but these have all been seen before in the trailer. Sadly this leads me to say that this is yet another lacklustre film from Mr Depp. His next film will need to be something spectacular if he's to lure me back to the cinema. 6 out of 10.

Viewing Date - 13th November 2011

UK Release Date - 11th November 2011

Cast Overview:

Johnny Depp ~ Paul Kemp

Aaron Eckhart ~ Sanderson

Michael Rispoli ~ Sala

Amber Heard ~ Chenault

Richard Jenkins ~ Lotterman

Giovani Ribisi ~ Moburg

Director ~ Bruce Robinson

Writer(s) ~ Bruce Robinson (Screenplay) and Hunter S Thompson (Novel)

Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

http://www.disney.co.uk/pirates-of-the-caribbean/index.jsp

Like most fans of Pirates Of The Caribbean, I was looking forward to and dreading this fourth installment in equal measure. Unlike most fans, I was dreading it because of the omission of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly and the addition of Penelope Cruz. Also unlike most fans, my favourite of the former trilogy was actually the last film, At World's End.

So I approached these strange tides with trepidation and tried to critique the film on it's own merits. After all, a sequel where two of the main stars have bowed out is surely not a sequel but a separate film altogether?

On Stranger Tides is set almost immediately after the last film. Though confusingly, it's set immediately after the events of the main film, not after the events featured in the scene after the end credits (which was set 10 years in the future). Still with me? If not here's a recap: At the end of At World's End, Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) has again lost his beloved ship, The Black Pearl, to his sparring partner Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). However, wily Captain Jack has stolen the map leading to the Fountain of Youth and sets off to find it in a little dinghy. In this film he is still searching for said fountain and we follow his adventures as he comes sword to sword with his own impostor (eventually unmasked as Angelica played by Penelope Cruz), encounters vicious Mermaids, crosses paths some more with Captain Barbossa and meets the fearsome Captain Blackbeard (Ian McShane). 

I'll jump right into the critique part of the review and say what I didn't like. Unsurprisingly I missed Orlando and Keira. That's right people, I even missed Keira. It just didn't feel right without them, and I kept hoping against hope that they'd filmed some kind of secret cameo and would appear at any moment. As the credits finally rolled I even hoped that the scene after the credits (and yes Pirates fans, there is one!) would belong to them. Sadly it did not. Instead, the producers have filled the gaping hole left by their characters with a whole bunch of unnecessary new ones. The missionary, Philip (played by Sam Clafin), is insipid and goofy looking (sorry but he is!) and the Mermaid just didn't cut it. As for Penelope, the boys will love her, but I just found her to be all boobs and big hair and not much else.

What I liked about it was that the lack of Will and Elizabeth allowed Captain Jack more room to shine, and that he did. The introduction of Angelica (annoying as she was) meant that for the first time we got to really see Jack use his charm on a woman. As much as I love Johnny Depp as an actor, I've never really understood the attraction to Jack Sparrow the character. However, I can see it this time around, as you get to see Jack more as a lover in this film than a wild eyed Pirate (although you get plenty of that too). As much as I could have done without Penelope I will at least say that she and Johnny had chemistry and it was nice to see Jack sparring with a feisty woman for once.

*Minor Spoiler Alert*

As usual I don't want to spoil the film for anyone but I must say that I *LOVED* Judi Dench's cameo in the film. I thought it was truly inspired and it looked like she had a blast filming it. Also, for anyone planning to take young kiddies to see this, the Mermaid attack is quite scary!

In summary, I found this installment to be a tad too long, the quest too unimportant, the 3D to be rather ineffective and pointless and on the whole, rather blah. It may be time for Captain Jack to relinquish his Captaincy before there's a mutiny from the fans. 7 out of 10.

Viewing Date - 18th May 2011

UK Release Date - 18th May 2011

Cast Overview:

Johnny Depp ~ Captain Jack Sparrow

Penelope Cruz ~ Angelica

Geoffrey Rush ~ Captain Hector Barbossa

Ian McShane ~ Captain Blackbeard

Kevin McNally ~ Joshamee Gibbs

Sam Clafin ~ Philip

Astrid Berges-Frisbey ~ Syrena

Director ~ Rob Marshall

Writer(s) ~ Ted Elliott (Screenplay, Screen Story and Characters), Terry Rossio (Screenplay, Screen Story and Characters), Stuart Beattie (Characters), Jay Wolpert (Characters) and Tim Powers (Novel 'On Stranger Tides')