The Not So Magnificent Seven

After such a good start to October I somehow managed to while away the rest of the month without seeing another film, and even worse, without making use of my trusty Cineworld Card.

Desperately trying to catch up with what I'd missed, and make use of my card, I somehow managed to cram 7 films into 3 days.

I'm not going to say a great deal on all of them but I thought a brief run down of my thoughts was required.

We shall start with the first film I saw - The Hate U Give



Incredibly important film about the current Black Lives Matter movement in the US, and the frequency with which unarmed black men are being killed by white police officers. This isn't based on a true story but it could so easily be based on any number of accounts of exactly the same situation as what happens in this film.

A strong central performance from Amanda Stenberg makes this film stand out from the crowd. It's both eye opening and incredibly moving in parts. Definitely worth a watch if it's still on near you. 7/10

Film 2 was the rather lacklustre Venom. 

Disappointingly neither Tom Hardy or Riz Ahmed are at their best here. And is it just me or is Michelle Williams acting actually getting worse (and is she becoming more breathy sounding) with each passing year? The effects are kinda ropey in places, and ultimately it leaves you wondering ‘did this film need to be made’? The end credits glimpse at the new Animated Spider-Man feature film looks great though it has to be said. 5/10

The third film I saw was Bohemian Rhapsody. I have a LOT to say about this one so it’s getting a separate review. Keep your eyes peeled for that!

Film four was the overlong and incredibly boring First Man. 

If Ryan Gosling can’t make your lead character interesting and charismatic then I think your film has problems. If this film is genuinely based on truth then I’m sorry to say that Neil Armstrong is a very dull man. The director needed reining in on the running time of this beast, and I think other characters should have been given more of a chance to shine. We know he gets to the moon so why did it take so damn long to show it?

This is by no means a bad film. The acting is top notch and I can certainly see Oscar nominations rocketing towards this one, but it's incredibly long and tediously, and just boring, and therefore I can only give it 4/10.

The fifth film I saw was the first of a horror triple bill - Slaughterhouse Rulez.

I will admit that from the trailer I was fully expecting this to be a slight step up from a Goosebumps type movie but it fell somewhere between that and a real gore fest. I enjoyed it, even if the acting isn’t always top notch, it was a fun ride and a perfect post Halloween movie. 6/10

The penultimate movie of the triple (and indeed the not-always-so-magnificent 7) was Goosebumps 2. 

I know I saw the last Goosebumps movie but I’ll be honest, I don’t remember much about it. This one was loads of fun. The possessed dummy was just the right amount of creepy for a kids film, and considering this definitely WAS made for kids (it’s a PG cert) I thought it was more engaging than Slaughterhouse. I found myself enjoying it a lot more and just generally having a blast. Definitely recommend for those with kids looking for a spooky film this autumn. 7/10

Finally that leads me to him. He came home. And what a bloody and fitting end to the Halloween franchise this is (providing the powers that be don’t decide to make another one).



Jamie Lee Curtis’ Laurie Strode from the original 1978 Halloween (that's right kids, that's before even I was born) returns for this sequel which effectively erases every Halloween movie that has followed in the last 40 years (including Halloween 2, H20 and Resurrection which all also featured Curtis as Laurie Strode). Forget those movies exist because this is the definitive sequel. Strode has spent the last 40 years dealing with PTSD over what happened on that fateful Halloween night, and my god has she got her Sarah Conner on.

Strode has always known the day would come when Michael Myers would again escape the mental facility that houses him, and she has prepared for the day when she would once again face him.

I won't give any spoilers away but I will say that for fans of the original this is an absolute must see. I will admit that I am nowhere near as hardcore horror as I used to be and I was scared to see this on my own, which is why I waited to see it until someone could come with me. But it's not wall to wall horror as some would have you believe.

Sure there are jump scares, and to bring the franchise bang up to date there are some scenes that are truly gruesome and horrific, but this is a Halloween movie, would you really expect anything less? Curtis and co act their socks off. It's great to see so many strong women in this movie, rather than them just being the screaming victim all the time, and for a woman in her 60s, Jamie Lee Curtis is as bad ass as they come.

As a huge fan of the original I honestly can't recommend Halloween highly enough to fellow fans. See it before it finishes in cinemas. 9/10

The Thing

I'm going to confuse everyone with this as I'm going to have a personal blog and a review with the same title. It's been a while since I wrote a personal blog though and in writing my review for The Thing (2011) I felt the need to elaborate.

I'm sure I've mentioned before that I am a lifelong horror fan. Cheesy ones, scary ones, classic ones, horrors about aliens, ghosts, boogie men, vampires, werewolves. You name it, I've seen it and probably loved it. The Thing (1982) however, was something entirely different. It might not have been the first film to scare me but it's the first film that I remember being genuinely afraid of. 

But before I talk about that I should give you some background so you know how hardcore a horror fan I really was. I grew up watching Hammer Horrors. "Not scary" I hear you cry. Maybe not. But when I say grew up I mean it. I can't have been older than 5 when I saw my first. I used to sneak downstairs at night and watch them with my mum. You might think badly of her for letting me watch such things but I didn't sleep as a child, so what was a single mother with two other kids to do? I would only fall asleep with my head in my mum's lap as she stroked my hair or my back. It was soothing to me. So the chances of me falling asleep alone in my bed were slim to none unless she stayed with me and she didn't have the time. Plus it didn't turn me into a psycho so it was clearly fine. And I loved them. Christopher Lee as Dracula, Peter Cushing as Van Helsing. Great films. And so the child of horror was born.

We swiftly moved on to 'Halloween' and it quickly became our tradition to watch it every year on Halloween when BBC2 used to show it. It was only when I then showed Halloween to my neighbour (who must have been about 8 or 9 at the time) and she screamed at the pumpkin in the opening credits that I realised I was not like other girls my age. I was tougher. Able to laugh in the face of horror.

I then moved on to Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm St. Nothing could phase me. Or so I thought.

I don't remember how old I was when my brother told me 'The Thing' was going to be on TV but I must have been in my early teens. I thought nothing of watching it on his recommendation. He likely told me "You like horrors, you'll probably like this", or words to that effect. It was on late, I was the only one still awake as I'd stayed up to watch it. Lights off for dramatic effect. And it scared the crap out of me. I don't know why it resonated with me so deeply but nothing had ever scared me so much. Maybe it was the idea of being taken over by something which imitates you, you cease to exist but something is pretending to be you? Maybe it was just the grizzly deaths? Maybe the isolation? Maybe all of these factors? Whatever it was, I still find it scary - though not to the extent I did that fateful night - but it remains one of my all time favourite films, not just a favourite horror film, to this day.

My review of the prequel, which is also named The Thing, can be found here. But if you haven't seen the original I would highly recommend it. I recently re-watched it with some friends who'd never seen it before and it was a highly enjoyable if somewhat nerve shredding evening.